Carl Rogers
People may seek a counsellor for many reasons, such as a life changing event or transitional period, anxiety, low mood, a loss, work or relationship issues, feelings of overwhelm, confusion, or feeling stuck or dissatisfied, which we may feel at different points in our lives.
It is natural for us to protect ourselves, and the pain we carry, and we may adopt coping mechanisms and strategies in order for us to get by. These may be helpful in the short term, but once they become embedded in us they become vital for us to function…this can result in us feeling stressed, anxious, depressed or lost. Unprocessed grief, shame, guilt or anxiety is natural, but it can be challenging and painful to express how we feel.
Counselling can provide a confidential and reliable relationship, providing support through difficult times and is a way of working that is completely collaborative between the client and counsellor. If you have found yourself numbing your pain and want to reconnect and understand yourself better, then my aim is to empower you to re-balance your mind, body and soul, and take control of your life.
Counselling is a talking therapy, it involves a trained therapist, like myself, listening to you and helping you find ways to deal with emotional issues. It will allow you to discuss any issues or concerns, and any difficult feelings you may be encountering, in a safe, confidential environment.
You may want to change something specific in your life, or to explore your thoughts and feelings in more depth; I will be objective but understanding and will listen to you without judgment. You might have discussions and reflections with me about how you're feeling, or we may work through specific exercises. What you talk about will vary depending on what you want support with, but it might include; your feelings, emotions or thoughts, your behaviour, past and present life events, situations you find difficult, your relationships or your childhood. My role is to get to know you, and for you to develop a greater understanding of yourself, this may include explorations of how you feel, think and act, and beliefs about yourself and the world. I will encourage you to express what's bothering you in order to uncover any root causes, and identify your specific ways of thinking, so you can develop a better understanding of yourself and of others.
I will not give you my opinions, advice, or tell you what to do, but I will allow you the opportunity to explore situations and experiences which might be causing you difficulties, which will help you gain a better understanding of your feelings and thought processes and help you find your own solutions to your problems. I will help you become aware of any conditioning, and internalised views that may be the cause of any feelings of not belonging, or feelings of being undeserving of love and acceptance. This may be by making effective changes in your life, or by exploring ways of coping with your problems. Part of the process is to develop empathy towards yourself, self-acceptance, self-trust and re-connecting with your self-worth.
As an integrative Humanistic Counsellor, I hold the relationship as central to effective therapy and my focus is on the person, not just the issue, to discover what benefits you the most. I am Person-Centred, meaning you, as the client, will take the reins and lead discussions so that I understand your experiences and your perspective, this in turn will help you understand your feelings and what might be happening for you, helping you realise your potential and to make positive changes. I believe you have a deep understanding of what is causing you pain and where you need to go, you are the expert within your own life. Each session will be guided by you and I listen with careful attention and give respect to what you choose to bring. A collaborative and non-directive approach has been proven in its effectiveness in the empowerment of my clients, although as needed I can also offer suggestions and practises that may be of benefit.
I will also work with other therapeutic models, including Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and mindfulness, with optional creative exercises, adapting to what best meets your needs at the time. Using my experience of several counselling approaches, brings awareness of the emotional, physiological, behavioural, and spiritual, as they apply to you, and personalised for you. This will help with developing new skills, strategies, and perspectives for moving forward and coping with personal challenges. I can hold space for spirituality and existential thoughts if you wish to do so.
I have a special interest in raising awareness of being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) and I support clients in coping with the challenges, while also noticing the positive aspects. Sensitivity is a basic human trait; everyone is sensitive to an extent, falling somewhere along a spectrum of sensitivity: low, medium and high. Research suggests around 20% of the population are highly sensitive; being defined as those who are more strongly affected by what they experience and more aware of what is going on within, and around them.
It is less common to be a highly sensitive person, and society tends to be built around people who notice a little less and are affected a little less deeply - this can lead to struggle under stressful circumstances. If you identify with having high sensitivity, you process things deeply and can therefore frequently feel worried, anxious or emotionally exhausted, can be prone to self-criticism and low self-esteem, and may struggle with perfectionism and people-pleasing. The lack of understanding around high sensitivity can lead those who are highly sensitive to feel like there is something wrong with them. While highly sensitive people have deeper experiences, relationships, and high creativity, they can also experience judgement quite painfully.
I am also committed to support introvert clients to explore, accept and embrace this part of themselves. Introversion is also a personality trait; an introverted person is often more interested in the inner world of thoughts and emotions than the external world of people, places, and things. Introverts are typically more reserved and introspective than extroverts, who tend to be more outgoing and expressive. Introversion can often be mistaken for being shy or socially anxious - but these are different things. An introvert is likely to have had someone (maybe throughout their life) say to them that they've got to “put themselves out there more”, be more assertive, or more outgoing… and when unable to do so, it can lead to feeling like a failure.
As these traits often come with emotional or interpersonal challenges, counselling can provide a way to better understand and make sense of them, embrace their strengths, manage any negative emotions, learn coping mechanisms, and deepen levels of self-awareness. It provides a safe space to explore any struggles, and your needs as a highly sensitive person, and / or an introvert, to help with understanding and recognising the difference between fears that can be overcome, and a personality trait that requires acceptance. It provides a safe space for an introspective journey to self-confidence, self-love, meaning, and purpose. And for once – you will be the centre of attention!
My aim is to highlight that being highly sensitive, or an introvert, is not a problem that needs fixing, but a personality trait to understand.
Based at Sapphire Practice Rooms and nestled away in Southernhay West, situated in Exeter City Centre, my therapy room is a tranquil, cosy and inviting space with treetop views overlooking Southernhay Gardens.
Please note that the room is on the top floor with several flights of stairs, and unfortunately there isn't a lift.
The cosy waiting room has beautiful treetop views overlooking the Cathedral and the Cathedral gardens.
I invite you to use this tranquil space to rest, both before and after sessions, there will be hot and cold drinks, biscuits, creative resources, magazines, mental health resources and thoughtful books and cards available.
Whilst face to face counselling is the most conventional form of counselling, it isn’t the only option available. Online counselling has grown in popularity, largely due to convenience, and can be more comfortable and accessible.
Online counselling offers the same level of support and confidentiality as face to face sessions, and since online therapy can take place anywhere that offers privacy and an internet connection, it can often be at a more convenient time to suit work and other commitments you may have.
I hold an additional certification in online and telephone counselling. Online sessions will be offered as a video connection via Zoom, but can also be over telephone if preferred.
Wishing You Well
Copyright © 2024 Wishing You Well - All Rights Reserved.